Wifed Up!

I have been a very lazy girl. Let me rephrase that. I have been a very busy girl who hasn't had time to blog lately. To be honest, I haven't even been motivated. Let me rephrase that. I have lacked the inspiration to blog for the last couple of weeks. Why? Shit, I don't even know. Who does know? God, maybe. No, God definitely knows. I have been recording lots of great music. I have been doing shows with my (Sis)Tem Crew. I have been hanging out with my very awesome boyfriend. Oh shit! I forgot to tell you all that I have been "wifed" up! HAHAHAHAHA!

Its pretty amazing--this relationship stuff. I've never been a "boyfriend" type of girl- at least not post high school. I have had less than a handful of BFs since my son's father and I broke up, many moons ago. A couple of them were out of sheer convenience and/or forced. You know, "I don't want you to leave me, so I will be your girl if that's what you really need", boyfriends. I have had a couple of "relationships" where I was totally involved and engulfed in some loser who chose not to reciprocate. I have had 1 real love since my BD and he was taken from me in a car accident 4 years ago. Since then, I have had 1 BF, and he was my attempt to get back into the proverbial swing of things, as to not lose my drive for life and love, and he was completely psycho!!! Our relationship sucked, and though it was short-lived, it was still a period of time in my life where I was mostly miserable, and it seemed like forever-ever. Sorry, but its true. Actually, I'm not sorry.

In the meantime and between time, I have gone back and forth with ex-flames and a couple of jumpoffs with no real desire to settle down. I really didn't see it coming. It just kind of came (That's what she said...lol!).

He is awesome! I despise the word awesome and I've used it twice, that's how awesome he is (that's 3 times, now). I haven't felt this way since the relationship that was taken from me. I'm flying high. I think about him all the time. I want to be up under him all the time. I just want him all the time. The cool thing is that he feels the same way! I know because he tells me. (A+ for expressing truth in emotion.)

We have known each other for a couple of years, now. Although we flirted and hung out a few times in the past, nothing ever really transpired. We gave it another shot, now that the timing is right for the both of us, and I couldn't be happier. I can't even talk about him without smiling and blushing like a 10 year old girl. He makes me feel wanted, loved, respected, protected and cared for. We dated for about a month and then, boom! He popped the question! HAHAHAHA! Funny thing is, I had been thinking about being his girl. I thought to myself, "Self, if he asked you to be his girl, would you?" My self replied, "F*ck yea!" That was it. It was that easy. I just see a future with him, and I am usually short sighted and have always had a difficult time visualizing any one guy in the picture that exhibits my future- near or far.

I know its going to take effort to keep this going and hold on to this feeling of elation. But at this point, its just effortless. Its natural. Its pretty damn wonderful, to be truthful. Its kind of like, God gave us both new watches that told us, "its time". I know I'm being mad corny right now, but the thing about it is, I don't even care. This is strange behavior for me, but I'm actually alright with that. He makes me emotionally honest. He inspires me to be better. He gives me every reason in the world to love. He loves me. I love him back. Individually we are dope. United we are CRACK! I'm happy. We're happy, and we deserve to be. Let the haters hate! They're everywhere and we know it. We see ya'll. Bring "it".