Check For My New Blog Look/ Check For MY Old Broken Heart!

I've been wanting to change the look of my blog for quite some time now. I haven't had much time to focus on it, though. To my followers, please forgive my negligence. Its been a really difficult week or two, lately. Things that I truly care about are slipping from my grip. Now, I am coping with the inevitable feelings that follow when you lose what you love although you remained dedicated to it. All I can say is that someone else's stronger trait/quality is NOT loyalty. So I guess, I'm Mark Morrison again...its the return of the mack. I say that tongue in cheek because my heart and mind are not grasping that concept yet. I know myself though, and I know I will bounce back and get back to having the fun that I desearve, with or without a companion. It's too early in the year to give up on sh*t. I'm going to be the best b!tch I can be. Summer will be here before we all know it and, best believe, ya girl will be prepared. All I can say for sure is that I will have another tat to add to my collection. I get them more or less when I need to feel pain other than the emotional; good pain, though; artful pain that makes you reflect and never forget the time in your life when you got it and why. Eff it...I'm still me. Let the games begin 'cause this is gonna be a mental challenge for me. It kind of feels like that movie "2 can Play That Game". I ain't really trying to go there, but I have a feeling that some of those strategies will come into play. Eff it....Wish ya girl some great luck and blessings. I will be praying. Pray for me...I dont think a reconciliation is in our future. I'm sad...but I'm gon' be alright...Right? All I can do is quote Haley, from Paramore, "Second chances; they don't ever matter. People never change. Once a whore, you're nothing more. I'm sorry, that'll never change." Let me know whats on YOUR mind, gals and guys..."1 love, 1 love, you're lucky just to have just 1...."

Yesterday Someone Shitted On Me!

It makes me sad that I actually started to really like someone who allegedly liked me, too. The reason it makes me sad is because he basically threw me in the garbage can for another broad. Rejection sucks and I don't like it. I really don't know how to process this. This has happend to me, maybe once. Twice, now. In my entire life! My friend told me to "just let it suck". So, that's what I'm doing. I'm conflicted because I can't really be mad at him for being truthful with me. So what can I be mad at him for? Well, I can be mad that he made me like him when I really didn't want to. I can be mad at him for taking me on the best dates I've had in my whole dating career and making me like him even more. I can be mad at him for laying with me in my bed and not attempting to violate me every which way, as we kissed, which made me like him a whole helluva a lot more. I can be mad at him for being dope enough to make me check him out when he was not looking. I can be mad at him for making me believe that we had the potential to be the dopest couple on the planet. I can definitely be mad at him for making me lose sleep because we had the illest 2 1/2 hour make-out session in the middle of an L.A. ghetto, in the parking lot of one of the dopest, most historical hip hop spots on the planet, dressed in vintage hip hop attire. (I didn't get home til 5am!) I can be mad at him for giving me a cute, silly little nickname that I didn't even like until he kept calling me by it and made me re-evaluate the whole "I don't like that nickname" thing. I can be mad at him for managing to be intelligent enough to stimulate the most erogenous part of my body (my brain) by whispering extensive vocabulary words in my ear, in the dark. I can be mad at him for even fathoming the thought that this chick(en) is ACTUALLY fresher than me. This is why I have an icebox where my heart used to be. "I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold." I hope she's worth it. You f*cked up, kid.