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I met a guy not too long ago. He wasn’t exactly the “eye-catching” type but he had this vibe, this energy about him that attracted me to him only a few minutes after being in his presence. Not the kind of attraction where I wanted to rip his clothes off or anything, but the kind that drew me deeper into him. We almost immediately began the “flirting game”. Turns out, he was friends with a few people that I know as well, putting us in the same places at the same time and allowing us to continue our little flirting game. You know, sitting next to each other, laughing about nothing, kisses on the cheek, subtle gestures that made it ok to touch a shoulder or leg, without feeling uncomfortable. We exchanged AIM information and we chatted when we could. At first, he was really “gung ho” about talking to me. Inviting me over to where he spends most of his time, asking me to be there for him on certain days, etc. I’d probably seen him about 5 times in a 3 week period. We had not had an official date nor had we spent any real time getting too personal with one another. The thing is, when I would go to be with him, there were also 50 other people around so there was no room to personalize the environment. This didn’t seem to bother him. It did, however, irritate the h-e-l-l out of me. Why would he ask me to be there for him if we were not going to be able to have some alone time to feel each other out. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you are interested in someone? This happened at least twice. Then the IM’s started to dwindle. You know, you see him online, he sees you online, but neither of you takes the initiative to connect. Not a good sign. Maybe I should’ve been an adult and just sent him a message. But ii felt like he should IM me because I was not feeling the way things had been going down. He didn’t though. Leaving me to wonder. Does he like me or not?
When you were young it wasn’t hard to know whether a boy liked you. Some put it right out there for you with the all too familiar “do you like me” note. You know, yes, no or maybe. You pick the box and then, boom, you both have your answer. (Ahh, the good ole days). Others took the more antagonistic approach. Ponytail pulling, pinching and punching. As childish as it was, those were all signs that, yes indeed, that boy really did like you, he just didn’t know how to express it.
Now that I am older, I’ve realized that it’s not much different with grown up men either. They still don’t know how to express their dreaded emotions/feelings and they still antagonize you, just in a different manner. All in all it is a pretty confusing ride to be on, but once you’re on, you have to wait for it to stop before you can get off. Don’t you wish you could just raise your hand like at the amusement park, so they could stop the ride because you weren’t feeling good about it anymore? Me, too. Unfortunately, it’s not so simple.
When you first meet a man who is interested in you and he is excited and enthusiastic about getting to know you, you, like I, may be just as excited and enthusiastic as he is. But what happens when you continue on that way, but the fire seems to be dying on his end? That’s how I felt about this guy. What happened? Was I dreaming? Did I mistake his friendliness for flirtyness? I don’t think so. Not with messages like, “I miss you.” And “You have to come through tonight, it’s my birthday and I want to be with you.” Yet when I would get there it wouldn’t be about me. It was about everybody over there. I even suggested that we get away for a little bit. That would be followed up by excuses like, “Oh, I have to be in the studio” or “I have to finish this song tonight, shoot a video, milk a cow”. It all sounded the same to me. LAME. Why do guys do this? Get you all wound up about hanging out and then act like its nothing to be around you. Did he want me to chase him? That wasn’t going to happen. Did something change his mind? And if so, why wouldn’t he just tell me? This type of conundrum kept my head spinning. What do I do? Sit and wait or keep it moving? The latter is easier said then done.
In a world where most men and women are compelled to be as “hard” as they possibly can, how do you let down your guard to even ask someone new how they feel about you? That would mean that they would know you’ve been affected by their bullsh*t. That would mean that they would know that they got to you.
I have never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve but rather suppress my feelings and walk away from the situation with a BIG question mark on my forehead. That’s so unhealthy. I am more mature than that now. Right? Shouldn’t all of us in our 20’s and above be? The answer to that is yes. But, the real question is this, when will we be?
We really didn't know how good we had it back in the day. Do you want to bring the check boxes back? No? Then lets communicate people!
When you were young it wasn’t hard to know whether a boy liked you. Some put it right out there for you with the all too familiar “do you like me” note. You know, yes, no or maybe. You pick the box and then, boom, you both have your answer. (Ahh, the good ole days). Others took the more antagonistic approach. Ponytail pulling, pinching and punching. As childish as it was, those were all signs that, yes indeed, that boy really did like you, he just didn’t know how to express it.
Now that I am older, I’ve realized that it’s not much different with grown up men either. They still don’t know how to express their dreaded emotions/feelings and they still antagonize you, just in a different manner. All in all it is a pretty confusing ride to be on, but once you’re on, you have to wait for it to stop before you can get off. Don’t you wish you could just raise your hand like at the amusement park, so they could stop the ride because you weren’t feeling good about it anymore? Me, too. Unfortunately, it’s not so simple.
When you first meet a man who is interested in you and he is excited and enthusiastic about getting to know you, you, like I, may be just as excited and enthusiastic as he is. But what happens when you continue on that way, but the fire seems to be dying on his end? That’s how I felt about this guy. What happened? Was I dreaming? Did I mistake his friendliness for flirtyness? I don’t think so. Not with messages like, “I miss you.” And “You have to come through tonight, it’s my birthday and I want to be with you.” Yet when I would get there it wouldn’t be about me. It was about everybody over there. I even suggested that we get away for a little bit. That would be followed up by excuses like, “Oh, I have to be in the studio” or “I have to finish this song tonight, shoot a video, milk a cow”. It all sounded the same to me. LAME. Why do guys do this? Get you all wound up about hanging out and then act like its nothing to be around you. Did he want me to chase him? That wasn’t going to happen. Did something change his mind? And if so, why wouldn’t he just tell me? This type of conundrum kept my head spinning. What do I do? Sit and wait or keep it moving? The latter is easier said then done.
In a world where most men and women are compelled to be as “hard” as they possibly can, how do you let down your guard to even ask someone new how they feel about you? That would mean that they would know you’ve been affected by their bullsh*t. That would mean that they would know that they got to you.
I have never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve but rather suppress my feelings and walk away from the situation with a BIG question mark on my forehead. That’s so unhealthy. I am more mature than that now. Right? Shouldn’t all of us in our 20’s and above be? The answer to that is yes. But, the real question is this, when will we be?
We really didn't know how good we had it back in the day. Do you want to bring the check boxes back? No? Then lets communicate people!
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