Home Sick

I've been living in Cali for quite some time now. But since I still have so many of my friends and family still in NY, I try to go back as often as possible. I usually wind up out there for special events, family gatherings and whatnot. Every year for the last 3 or 4 years I have spent my birthday in my native! Sadly this year I couldn't afford to go. Thanks George Dubbya!!! Anyway, when I'm there, my NYC friends try to make it as special as possible for me on my day, i.e. champagne bottles, birthday cake, good trees and lots of love. I also have 2 other VIRGO friends whose birthdays are very close in date with mine so we show each other mad love. Well, I spoke with both of those friends the other day, separately, and they each told me they were throwing a party, together! OMG! The 1st time I'm not there in 3-4 years, they decide to have a party! It was yesterday and I'm so sad that I wasn't able be there. I called my girl lastnight to give her birthday kisses and wishes and I heard all of my friends in the backround. ARGGG! I wanted to get a hold of Doc Brown and implore him to allow me to borrow the Delorean so that I could smash back in time and get to 145st and Amsterdam ASAP!!! Unfortunately, I have no communication with Doc Brown and I haven't seen Marty McFly in mad years. I sat. In my crib. In Cali. While her phone got passed around to all in attendance and she said, "Say Hi to Dawn S****." I sulked after I told everyone I love them and I'd be out there sometime real soon and hung up. (I should've told them to pass around a champagne flute and start up a collection for my homecoming.) I'm actually having my own birthday party at Geisha House this Sunday and I'm really excited about it. But something in my heart misses the hood. The block. I think I'd take that over any Hollywood party, anyday. I just hate to miss out on things. Especially things that I feel I SHOULD be an essential part of. I miss my home. No matter where I go, NEW YORK is always home. It feels like I belong. My feet get happy when they hit the pavement outside of JFK. I breathe in all that polluted, post-911 air and I come alive! Cali's great! Don't get me wrong. I got it crazy good out here. But my heart yearns. It needs that occasional skip of a beat from all them fine Boriqua boys on the corners in the summertime. My tongue craves Mr. Softie's vanilla with sprinkles or a coco-cherry. My nose needs that pissy staircase wake-up stench when the elevator is broken. My eyes need to see all the people I grew up with, their parents that my parents grew up with, and their parents' parents that my grandparents once knew. I miss being in my Grandfather's brownstone, seeing the Hudson as I walk down to Riverside to visit my Aunt, riding the bus to Jersey to see my Titi. I miss wildin' out with my cousins. I miss my Father. I miss playing with my Grandmothers hair. I wanna go home. If only for a little while. I know NY misses me! We make each other smile. Anyone else missing their native? I think I need a Nutkracker. Help!